AM I WHERE I BELONG?

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It's an important question, I think, and asking it edges me closer to that destination.

I'm not so zeroed in on geographical, familial or social notions of 'belonging' these days. I'm searching for inner ground. I think I'm looking for me.

And I'm interested in being inside of this body as I constantly ask it to perform. Wanting to take care of myself, now more than ever, is a way of belonging. Is my brain firing correctly? Am I being careful with my thoughts? Do I want to belong to the way I'm thinking and working things out? 

And as I age up, I want to be where I belong. I want to belong to myself. To take full ownership and responsibility for all of it. To be able to give me away, free of charge, to the people and things that I love. The notion that I am owed anything seems ridiculous so the bargaining days are over. That bubble has burst.

And as I breath I'm aware that the final exhale will come; the one that will complete me, for better and for worse.

Am I where I belong?

I'm getting closer.

Warm love, Caro

"Remember how long you've been putting this off, how many extensions the gods gave you, and you didn’t use them. At some point you have to recognize what world it is that you belong to, what power rules it, and from what source you spring; that there is a limit to the time assigned you. If you don't use it to free yourself, it will be gone and will never return."

MEDITATIONS - Marcus Aurelius

©️ Caro Kalb-Marr



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